The DisruptHERs: Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju’s transition might be complete, but his journey is just beginning

“Trans people live in a world that teaches them they are eternally inept. Medicine teaches you that you are a pervert or a disturbed person, the law teaches you that you are a criminal, and society teaches you that you are broken.”

Trinetra Haldar GummarajuTrinetra’s words and her life are like no other. From hiding under a medical scrubs to now owning and flaunting her femininity in a stunning sari, she has walked a path that was as much spiritual as it was physical. In an industry that thrives on opacity, Trinetra, a transgender actress whose honest words cut deep, is a breath of fresh air.

Gender is a tricky concept to define, though. Where do you start to feel “real”? Does surgery bring you closer to owning your identity? How do you redirect the narrative of your life that is so controlled by societal dictates? For Trinetra, this journey began at home. “I grew up in Hyderabad, surrounded by a reasonably liberal family, but also within a society that had rigid expectations about gender. From a very young age, I knew that I didn’t quite fit the mould that was expected of me as a boy. It wasn’t a sudden, but rather a gradual, realisation that the discomfort I felt was linked to my gender identity. I was often attracted to things that were considered feminine, and I remember feeling most at peace when I could express that side of myself. However, growing up in an environment that didn’t have the language or understanding of what I was experiencing made it difficult to articulate my feelings. It wasn’t until I got older and started doing some research on my own that I found the words – transgender – that perfectly described who I was. That marked the beginning of a long journey towards self-acceptance,” she tells us.

She came out as queer at 14, but says it took her parents “almost a decade to fully get used to the idea that their son was now their daughter.” And in a country like India, which is far from offering easy access to information and resources to people in the queer community, the content creator believes her profession (she was recently a doctor) helped her explore her identity and led her towards advocating for gender rights.

“Medicine is a field that demands objectivity, but it is also deeply human. Being a doctor, especially while struggling with my own identity, made me acutely aware of the gaps in our understanding of gender and sexuality. I saw how the medical field often approached these aspects in a very binary and clinical way, which did not capture the full spectrum of human experience. This dual journey, of being a doctor and a trans woman, gave me a unique perspective. It made me more compassionate, more aware of the need for a more inclusive and holistic approach to healthcare, especially for marginalized communities like the LGBTQ+ community. My experience has undoubtedly influenced how I view and advocate for a more nuanced understanding of gender and sexuality in both medicine and society,” she shares.

As with most content creators, putting your life out there for the world to consume has its drawbacks. Add gender bias to that and you have a cocktail that’s hard to drink. But Trinetra, a brave young doctor at the time, decided to give the world a front-row seat to her transition process, from her sex reassignment surgery in 2019 to her facial feminization surgery a few months ago. Where does she find the strength to deal with the criticism and ridicule that people who choose to bare their lives on this medium suffer?

“Transitioning is a very personal process, and sharing it with the world meant exposing myself to both support and scrutiny. I felt that by speaking openly about my journey, I could help others who might feel alone or confused. I wanted to be the person I needed when I was younger: someone visible, someone who thrived. Of course, with visibility comes criticism. People have opinions, and not all of them are kind or informed. Criticism, especially after my last surgery, was hard to handle at times, but I’ve learned to filter out the noise. I remind myself that my journey is my own, and as long as I’m happy with who I am, that’s all that matters. I focus on the positive impact I can have and the voices of support, rather than the negativity. It’s a process, but I’m proud of who I am and the choices I’ve made,” adds Gummaraju.

One of those decisions was to leave medicine, pack her bags, and come to Mumbai to pursue acting full-time. Her role in Made In Heaven gave her a taste of the world the City of Dreams offers to those who persevere. But Trinetra carries the burden of becoming the role model she probably never got to see. She chooses not to let that turn into resentment, though. “As a trans woman, I was drawn to acting because I wanted to see more stories that reflected the diversity of the human experience, stories that included people like me. Moving to Mumbai and pursuing acting was a way for me to follow that passion and be part of a changing landscape in Indian film and television. Medicine was and still is a big part of my life, but acting gave me a new way to reach people, to influence hearts and minds, and to be the representation I never had growing up. The decision to leave medicine was not an easy one, but I realized I could make a different impact through my work in the arts.” It’s about following where my heart leads me and where I feel I can make the biggest difference.”

Her words are hopeful, as is her, about the future that awaits her. Wearing many hats, she finds that each one has added a different dimension to her life and personality. “Professionally, I am exploring more opportunities in acting and storytelling. I want to continue breaking barriers and telling stories that matter. Personally, I am focused on living authentically and finding balance in my life. I am also working on some personal projects that are close to my heart. Ultimately, my goal is to continue growing, both as an artist and as a person, and to continue using my platform to advocate for the causes I believe in,” says the actress.