My children have never gone down a hot, steaming metal slide. They have never fallen off the monkey bars onto hard concrete. As babies, they have never hit their heads on the corner of an unpadded piece of furniture, or had to fall asleep without the soothing hiss of white noise to quiet their chaotic thoughts. They have never experienced real dehydration, or gotten a sunburn, or been forced to watch television. The price is fair For two hours at a time when they are sick because they have nothing else to do. We have done our best as a society to protect today’s young people from as many of life’s difficulties as possible. And while there is no doubt that this is, on balance, for the best, many experts also worry about the effects of chronic overprotection and the lack of life skills and resilience that can come from never having experienced a real sense of failure or challenge.
But hey, at least we still had Capri Sun.
But now, As reported by Snackolater, There is a rumor that Capri Sun will soon offer a bottled twist-top version of its signature juice pouch, and I (and others) I am concerned that this new easy-open option may further jeopardize the strength of the younger generation.
The mental and physical tenacity required to effectively puncture a metal Capri Sun bag with a tiny yellow straw has been one of the only ways I, as a parent, can truly prepare my children for the realities of adult life. If you lose the straw, it’s game over? Can’t hit that tiny hole? Poke somewhere else, but you’d better have serious upper body strength, and I can’t imagine how many emergency room visits have been triggered by missing the bag and hitting yourself in the upper thigh. If you have the hand-eye coordination of a neurosurgeon and manage to make the delicate puncture, be careful not to grip too tightly, or you can expect a stream of sticky juice to splatter all over your body, sacrificing both your clothes and most of your drink.
Why would Capri Sun do this? I assume they are aiming to reach a more adult customer base, although if you’ve ever seen a chubby three-year-old repeatedly sticking a straw into their fruit punch, you might wonder whether children are really the right target audience to begin with. And hasn’t the company noticed that pouched food has become a new fad, with everything from milk tea to tuna and saag paneer being served in plastic pouches?
Fortunately, it seems that this is the plan. This isn’t about replacing the original pouches, but rather complementing them. And offering a variety of formats surely removes a barrier for those with accessibility and dexterity issues. But while my job as a parent is, more often than not, to protect and care for my children, I for one will continue to watch and smile as, with parched lips, they mindlessly and repeatedly poke at a shiny, probably warm pouch of sugary juice to quench their thirst. It is back-to-school season, after all.
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